XXVI. 2ne1, among other things...

Okay, okay, I admit it! I have a total girl-crush on the K-pop group, 2ne1. I love their style and how catchy their songs are- forgive me for liking music JUST BECAUSE IT'S FUN. Leave me alone. Actually, I only mentioned them because it's the 21st* blog. Baha.

In more important news, I've said good-bye to my old classes and will be embracing new ones soon (aka in a few hours). I am really sad to have said good-bye to them, but I can't hog the angels... can I?

As for the new classes: Am I nervous? Shya! I'd like these classes to be amazing, since I'll be leaving for the States after them, but it's possible that a few are gonna STANK. Is a perfect schedule too much to ask? Mmmk, grrreat.

With Angela: a devilish little minion, but oh so cuuute.

See what I mean?!

My girls. So precious. Catherine, the girl on the left, always slapped me on the butt (don't ask why...)!

Julie, from T/h. She gave me a colored marker every week so that I could do more art.

*At the time, the blog was labeled XXI. Turns out, I messed up on the Roman Numerals. Wompwomp.

XXV. Presents.

This week was my lucky week as I was blessed with surprises FOR NO REASON (be jealous),

BUT

I have a feeling they're to prepare me for later...

To add to my owl collection. *swoon*

From Janice.

From my student Grace. She knew my favorite color.

From lunch today. After talking with my friend Glorya about possibly volunteering with Future Island School in Ghana, West Africa. You should look into it too...

"For the Future"

I'm dreading Friday. That's when I lose all my amazing classes, including my RE5, and get new ones. My RE5 I've had for 6 months and they are like family to me. We're obsessed with each other. We're seriously a house full of nerds. We crack up about the most ridiculous things, and it's AMAZING. I'm so in love with them and I can't believe I have to say good-bye before I'm actually leaving Koreaaa :(

Could be worse.

Anyway, I can't imagine it getting any better than now, but there are room for surprises. I hope. Either way, who doesn't like being spoiled? ;]

Oh, and rock climbing anyone?

XXIV. Promise.

[I'm not writing this to update anybody but to remind myself of why the heck I came to Korea. So, apologies if it sounds like another rant. I do what I want. :) ]

I left the comforts of home, my family, my amazing friends, my church, grad school, my band, and my ex-boyfriend to come to Korea, yes, to teach and to learn Korean, but ultimately to draw closer to God. I gave up everything in hope that God would be my everything.

Then when I arrived, I began to experience things from people that tore me apart, piece by piece (the most dangerous of ways to be broken). Jealously. Pride. Bitterness. Lust. I was snubbed, rejected, ignored, misunderstood, back-stabbed. I began to pity myself and look for others to pity me. I never knew myself like this. It was disgusting.

But, it's not like these things had never happen before. Or that I was ignorant of this broken world. But the unexpected bombardment of it all at once caused me to lose my foothold (which is why we should always be firmly founded in Christ). Gah.

I feel like I've taken ten steps back. Korea was getting to me. This monster in me that I never knew existed began to come out. I became impatient, judgmental, rude, bitter, insecure, distrusting, and the list goes on. Though my hopes were to give God my everything, I couldn't even so much as hand over a fingernail- and that was to take the planks out of other eyes. Ouch. I was obsessed with myself and how I'd been wronged.

I need forgiveness. And love. Jesus, I need you to fill me to overflowing, but so much more than before. I am truly nothing without you and so weak. I need to love, and not just with any love, but with the love from God.

I wrote a praise song in Korea, being in the depths of my foolishness, but how quickly I forgot the words:

Stand by me, as I face my darkest fears,

But they will fight with a high cost,

In a war they've already lost.

God, this is my commitment to you: to give you every second of my life. But imma need yo help.